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This Entry is Rated:
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01/10/07 | 18:49PM
Burn, Verizon, Burn

Okay, I admit, I have trouble with phones. I lose them, I break them, etc. etc. It's a character flaw and I try to deal with it the best I can. Primarily, this has meant paying for the only insurance Verizon offers, a ridiculous scam in which I pay $6 a month, plus a $50 surcharge when I need to replace a phone. Seeing as I'm on a family plan and have the cheapest of cheap-assed phones on the market, it's hardly worth it, but I kept it up mainly for the (minimal) sense of security it provides. WELL. After paying through the nose for this service for a year, I finally came to the point where I had broken so many phones they wouldn't replace them anymore. At this point, I hate Verizon and I hate the whole concept of cell phones with a burning, vivid passion, but because getting out of my plan would cost me hundreds of dollars, I have no choice. I have to get a new phone.

So, I go to the Verizon store, and tell them I need to get a new phone. The girl looks me in the eye, fixes me with the dirtiest stare in the history of the planet, and says, "You're not due for a new phone for another year."
I say, "I know, but I need a new one - what should I do?"
She goes, "I can't help you."
I say, "This store is filled with phones and I am willing to give you a large amount of my money. Can you please sell me a phone?"
She goes, "No. The most basic phone here will run you $200 and I can't give you any discount. Go to Ebay or try the Verizon kiosk downstairs. I can't do anything for you."
Ok, so technically, I guess, she was trying to help me, but the absolute disdain in her voice robbed me of any sense of gratitude. So, I go downstairs to the Verizon kiosk. I say, "What is the cheapest phone you can sell me?"
The dude says, "Uh, free?"
I say, "I am already on a plan and I can't upgrade my phone."
The guy says, "Uh, $200?"
I say, "The girl upstairs said you sold them cheaper than that."
He goes, "$180."
I say, "Is there anywhere in this massive mall that I can purchase a phone for under $150?"
He goes, "Nope."
At this point, I probably look like I am going to cry.The kid (literally, he was probably 16) looks down at his pocket and goes, "I can sell you this phone for $50."
I say, "Dude, is is that YOUR phone?"
He looks shifty. "No."
I go, "Well, where did it come from, then?"
He says, "Look, lady, I'm just tryin to help ya out. You wannit?"
I say, "Um...does it come with some kind of guarantee?"
I say, "Whose phone IS that?"
He says, "Somebody left it here."
I go, "Because it doesn't work?"
He goes, "Naw, it's just old. Listen, if it breaks in under three days, I'll give you your money back. How bout that?"
I should've done it. I really should've. Instead I spent $200 on a "real" phone. Which just broke.

RIP Baby Motorola, December 2006-January 2007.

I hate my fucking life.

- Verizon H8er ID: 763889

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