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03/12/15 | 23:26PM


The tldr version is, don't get Verizon FIOS! And if you have it, don't ever try to cancel service!

And now, for the epic saga...

...Long ago, in a home on the edge of Munhall, a customer's Verizon contract was set to expire. A friendly Comcast rep, sensing this disturbance in

the force, made an offer this customer could not refuse! $50 less for the same TV, faster internet, and phone service to boot! Our naive hero

scheduled installation with Comcast, waiting to tell the evil galactic consortium known as Verizon what he was doing. Little did he know what they had

in store for him!

On September 13, he was installed with his new Xfinity service. This was a Saturday. He thought he was happy. Our brave hero neatly organized the

equipment belonging to the dark side and phoned them on Monday the 15th of September to cancel his service. The representative of the dark side tried

in vain to get him to stay, but it was too late...

She said he'd receive a box in which to place their machines, but was unclear about what would happen with the bill. While this should have been

concerning to our brave warrior, he figured he was on autopay, and since he was saving so much money by switching service, it was of no concern. He

received the box on Friday the 19th, boxed up the equipment, and mailed it back the following Monday. He was also charged a full month's bill, nearly

$200, of which he only owed $90. He was due a refund of $111.61.

Never having issues with the dark side before this day, and believing their propaganda about "We'll never stop working for you", he called in again, in

the beginning of October, explained his situation, and was told "You'll get a bill on November 4th, and a FINAL bill on December 4th, after which time

you'll receive a refund check for the remaining balance, assuming we get your equipment." Our hero asked, "Haven't you already received said

equipment?" To which the representative replied: "Let me check...yes." "Can't you just direct deposit the money back the way you auto take it in the

first place?" "That's not how we do things, you'll get your check in December. The account needs time to tie up loose ends."

Our hero was sad, with the holidays rapidly approaching, but he waited patiently. He received a bill in November showing his $111.61 credit, as

promised. He received a bill in December showing his $111.61 credit, as promised. But here's where things start to go south for our fair hero...He

painfully waits until the week after Christmas to inquire about his money he had been owed for over 3 months, at this point...

The new Verizon Sith lord he spoke with mentioned a change of systems in the last month, which had caused a delay on some payments going out. The Sith

lord said he was empathetic, and there was nothing he could do, but he said he would reach out to his Sith master to try and speed the refund process

along. He told our brave hero to be patient another 2 weeks, and he should have his money.

Fast forward to mid January. Our hero was now getting his bills from Christmas, yet he curiosly received a statement from Verizon still showing his

credit. So he called in again (bear in mind waiting on hold 10-20 minutes on each call just to get to someone, who also was only in Mon-Fri 9-6). He

again explained his story, was told he was in the wrong department, got transferred again at 5:55PM, and got through at 6:03PM, to be told everyone was

gone for the day! He was upset!

But he was undaunted! Our hero got home quickly from work the following day, went through the evil IVR system designed to make the weak succumb to the

darkside, reached a live Sith lord, got transferred again, waited, told his story again, and was finally assured a check would be sent in 3 business

days, and he'd get it within two weeks...Sound familiar?

So our hero waited. At the end of January, still no check! Once again he braved the evil Verizon IVR, waited, explained his situation, was

transferred, waited, explained his situation, was apologized to, was told once again, "You'll get your check in two weeks." Our hero wondered on what

world these sith lords thought two weeks was the equivalent of several months on earth, and asked "Since I was on autopay, and you could take money at

will from me, can't you just put it back the same way?" "No, that's not how we do things." Aparently not!

So our hero's patience was rewarded, as in early February (about the 4th) he had received a check for his long overdue money! "Huzzah!" he thought!

He assumed the story was over. But the sith do not give up on unsuspecting people so easily....

A week later, our hero received what he expected was a REAL FINAL bill of $0.00. To his surprise, he had been charged $10.03 for taxes and fees.

Taxes and fees on what? Money you owed me since September 2014? Equipment you've had since October 1, 2014? Our warrior had alas been defeated, and

did not have the will to fight another battle with the evil galactic empire known as Verizon.

But he was not alone! The fair and just Princess Lisa stepped in, ready to go to bat for our hero. She believed in what is right and good. So she

braved the evil IVR system, armed with 6 months of bills, and ready to seek justice...She reached Billing. She explained what was becoming quite the

story, and was told "I can't help you, this is a closed account, you need to speak to Financial Services." Sounds fair...or so she thought...

She reached financial services, explained her story, and was told she needed to talk to Billing! (who she just spoke to!) At this point she asked to

speak to a supervisor. Once again she was placed on hold, only to be hung up on 10 minutes later!

She was undaunted, and braved the evil IVR once again. She spoke to a Sith underling called Dominique. Dominique said again "This isn't billing, this

is Financial Services' issue" to which she requested a "warm transfer, so the two Sith could face one another. She eventually had a Billing Sith and a

Financial Services Sith duking it out with one another, each trying to shirk responsibility for this epic fail of a mishap. Eventually after much

bickering, the two said the issue had been resolved and justice would finally be served...but justice doesn't come so easily!

Two days later, our exasperated hero was reviewing charges on his credit card statement, and to his surprise, he saw a charge for $3.34 on his

statement from the evil empire of a company known as, you guessed it, Verizon! Our heroine Princess Lisa Gonzales​ was not phased. She vowed to

continue the quest for justice!

Today, March 12, 2015, Lisa called in, explained this very tale you have been reading, and was told "There is a $10 credit on your account." "I only

want what was taken from us the, $3.34." she replied. The Sith agent said "You will receive a check for $13.37. It will take 10 days until you

receive it." Not the standard 3 business days to process it, then 7 business days to get it via snail mail? "Ok, whatever, fine." an exasperated

Princess Lisa replied.

Is our story over, or has it just begun? We shall see!


joker0221 - Verizon H8er ID: A0DB5D

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